What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 06:15
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Why am I so tired of seeing homeless people all over the place?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Why am I so tired of the keto diet?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Why are you a Muslim? Why is it Islam for you and not something else?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
What are some life hacks for living on your own?
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Was Jimmy Carter a good President of the United States?
Make Nazis afraid again!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
What would have happened if Shin was a good movie instead of a bad one?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
TEXT:
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?